Some of you may have noticed that I took a pretty long blogging break.  I never intended to do that, but I had fallen out of love with blogging and with everything about it.  I felt like I never found my community of people or my niche.  I felt like no one was reading my blog and I didn't know what to write about.  And I was right.

Anyways, I wanted to share a little bit about what I was doing while I was gone.  To quickly summarize it, I was connecting to my spirituality and working on my mental health.  The first part is going to seem a little strange, so let's talk about mental health first.

I aim to be transparent on this blog and be an advocate for mental health.  I've blogged before that I had been diagnosed and treated for depression and anxiety.  When I moved to Wilmington and found a new psychiatrist, she decided to tackle my sleep problems.  Mostly that I was having trouble falling asleep and then sleeping too long and having trouble waking up.  I was always tired, exhausted, fatigued.  We found out that I also have Restless Leg Syndrome, so we treated that and I was all better!

Well, then she became concerned because I was sleeping only 5-6 hours per night, but still fully energized.  I couldn't focus and I was constantly leaping from one topic or task to the next.  I talked even quicker than I usually do and I felt like my mind couldn't keep up.  When I told her this, she told me that I have cyclomania, which means I alternate between depressed moods to elevated moods.

So we added a new medicine.  It kind of kicked my ass at first, but I'm sleeping well and I finally feel normal.  I didn't ever think that was possible.  But this little journey into mental health was only one part of my hiatus.

If you took a psychology course in college or even high school, you may remember this:

If you aren't familiar with this pyramid of needs or Maslow's theory, it basically states that people need to start at the bottom and have their needs met all the way to the top in order to have a fulfilled life.  Research has pretty much shown that some people actually skip some of these levels or don't follow them in a linear order.  That's okay.  Everyone is different.  

As a quick summary of what each level entails, here are some examples:

  • Biological/Physiological needs include the things that you absolutely have to have to be alive.  This includes things like air, sleep, food, water, etc.
  • Safety needs refers to things that protect you from something else, such as shelter, law, security, etc.
  • Belongingness and love needs deal with our romantic and interpersonal relationship.  In order to feel fulfilled.  These relationships include your family, friends, and even coworkers.
  • Esteem needs are things like independence, responsibility, and expertise.
  • Cognitive needs include discovery, learning, and creativity.
  • Aesthetic needs are all things beautiful.
  • Self-actualization needs include personal growth, realizing potential, and all of those self-growth things that you can think of.
  • Transcendental needs include your spiritual understanding of the Universe or whatever higher power you believe in.  This also includes helping others in ways that you've already helped yourself.
What I noticed is that I didn't quite have my self-actualization needs met.  I have an abundant life full of all things I need to survive.  I have great relationships.  I've even stopped basically all of my negative self-thoughts.  I feel confident and comfortable with who I am.  But I still felt empty for a while.  

That's when I turned towards healing crystals, essential oils, meditation, affirmations, yoga, and even Tarot cards.  Yes, those cards that you see in the movies that the fortune teller flips over and says, "OH NO THE DEATH CARD!" while lightning crashes.  Fuck that, because it's not like that.  I'll be posting more about how I use these cards if anyone is interested.  It has NOTHING to do with religion.  You can be Christian and use all of these tools.  Or Buddhist.  Or Catholic.  Or atheist.  All of this to say that I'm connecting with myself and with the Universe through my own ways.  There is a large community of people who are also connecting to their spirituality and higher powers.  It's amazing and it's been so helpful for me in so many ways.

All of this to say that I feel invigorated and inspired and ready to freaking go.  So let's do it.  If you have any questions about my mental health experience or my spiritual journey, please reach out to me!  Social media, email, or even comments are totally fine.  My door is always open!

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